We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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