her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
