if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
