I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
