Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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