ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
