oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
