When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
