Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
