I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
