My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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