You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
