We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
