i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
