If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
