We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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