They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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