capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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