you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
