just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
