Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
