so that wasnt chicken after all
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
