Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize