I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
