I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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