Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
