dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
