Kiss
Puke
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
