I want to walk on stilts...naked
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
