just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
