i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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