I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
