The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
