Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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