Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
