I cockslap morals
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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