We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just had sex on a roof
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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