I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Panties = found
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize