I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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