Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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