I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize