Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
