You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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