I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
