dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
