Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
