i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
