would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
