well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
