fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
honey bunches of taint.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You dont lie about slip and slides
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
