hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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