So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
