Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
