Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she woke up with a sticky ear
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
