She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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