Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Your penis caused this!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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