just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
