Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would ride that face into the sunset
its liver damage thursday
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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