He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
