The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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