honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
